. I Quit! By Tom Olkowski, Ph.D. MTT Contributing Writer One tongue-in-cheek definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again, but constantly expect different results. Yet every season millions of golfers, including myself, spend countless hours, taking billions of swings, hitting an infinite number of balls, and driving ourselves absolutely crazy in hopes of someday shooting that one great round. Recently, however, I was chatting with a golfing friend who only last year had talked about giving up the game because the frustration it caused for him. With a smile on his face, he informed me that he had fallen back in love with the game and was enjoying it more than ever. His secret? He stopped trying to fix his swing and he quit keeping score. In mulling over his comments, I came to the obvious conclusion that golf is a game that is meant to be enjoyed, and there are probably a few things we could all quit doing that would increase our satisfaction with it. So, I've decided to not quit golf, but how I think about it, and I invite you to do the same. For instance: Quit trying to be Tiger, Davis, Arnie or Sergio. Many, if not all, of our golf heroes were born with exceptional talents and spent countless hours refining their skills. Most of the rest of us took up golf much later than they did and get to play once or twice a week if we're lucky, so maybe we should accept reality and just be ourselves. Quit believing in miracles. For the typical once-a-week player, the odds of shooting a once-in-a-lifetime round are about the same as those of buying a winning lottery ticket. We would be better off realizing that improvement comes slowly and gradually as the result of goal-setting, patience, and practice. Quit beating yourself up. When professional golfers hit bad shots, and they do, just not as often as the rest of us, they typically express their anger, let go of it, and focus on the shot ahead. The average golfer, however, will plumb the depths of his vocabulary to find new ways to criticize himself after a poor shot. It may be a reflection of verbal creativity, but it rarely helps your game. Quit playing over your head. It never hurts to play with someone who is better than you are, as a matter of fact it can even improve your game. But you need to realize that a sure way to sabotage your attitude is to constantly compare your scores to those of a friend who regularly outshoots you by ten strokes, or feel you have to play from the back tees just because everyone else does, or to participate in bets that you have little or no chance of winning. Quit entering (or at least learn to enjoy) tournaments. Let's face it, unless you're partnered with Mark O'Meara in a member-guest, best-all tournament, the likelihood of winning most tournaments is small. If your only goal is to finish first and bring home a trophy, you are likely to be disappointed and will probably miss out on the fun, comradery and good will that most tournaments are designed to offer. Quit trying to buy a game. In case you haven't noticed, golf clubs are much like computers. The minute you buy one, it is, according to the latest infomercial, being surpassed by a club of such radical new design and constructed of some rare metal just discovered, that it is already on its way to becoming obsolete. One of the most brutally honest tips I ever received from a golf salesman was, "If I were you, I'd spend a few dollars on lessons before I decided to buy a new set of clubs." But if you don't believe it, give me a call because I have a barely used Alien wedge for sale cheap. Finally, quit believing that golf is a matter of life and death. Golf, contrary to most beliefs, is really only a game, a sport, a form of recreation meant to produce enjoyment and relaxation. Unless we earn our livelihoods by playing golf, our scores are not a measure of our worth and simply aren't worth the frustration they cause. But, should there come that magical day, when the gods of golf design smile upon us by allowing us to shoot the round of our lives, what then? Will our lives really change? I once made a hole-in-one, every golfer's dream. A short time later I received an "official" certificate of recognition of my feat, complete with my name misspelled... so much for changing my life. So, truly enjoy the game of golf and help keep it in its proper perspective in our lives, I suggest we all consider the old Zen saying, "Even after playing the greatest round of his life, a man still has to wash out his golf socks." Tom Olkowski, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Denver. Among other things he quit watching infomercials for clubs he already owns. For more information call 303-469-2974.